‘Manipulation’ and Borderline Personality Disorder: What to Know | The Mighty
Why People With Borderline Personality Disorder Lie personality, planning cognitive tasks, and regulating social and emotional behavior. The cause of cluster b personality disorders, of which borderline personality disorder is one, is an attachment disorder due to lack of object constancy. In less . Those diagnosed with personality disorder are manipulative. This is a fact . Cognitive Behavioral Treatmentof Borderline Personality Disorder.
G is for gentle. You want to be interested in other points. You want to nod, you want to make eye contact. You want to reflect back what they are saying.
Why are people with Personality Disorder so manipulative?
After listening, validate and reflect back what they shared. I literally teach [my patients] how to lean against the wall, cross your ankles, stand a little off kilter, go slow and even open your neck a little, be a little but vulnerable when you speak.
It will slow you down and it will literally calm down the other person. At the end of the day, maintaining a civil and friendly relationship with your roommate or loved one in this kind of situation is the most important thing.
What you need is to stand up for yourself. Be Fair You need to be fair in your interpretations and negotiations. Fair to [the other person] and fair to you. People with borderline personality disorder will apologize for existing. Stick to your values What are your values?
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
What are your standards? What are your ethics? Be Truthful Being truthful is about not lying. We encourage you to consult a mental health professional if your symptoms are interfering with your daily functioning. Recovery is completely possible.
Why are people with Personality Disorder so manipulative? – The Diagnosis of Exclusion
Resources If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources. Unsplash photo via Joshua Rawson Harris Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about. I joined The Mighty because I believe storytelling is a powerful tool in raising awareness about mental health and trauma.
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- 3. Having Intense Emotional Reactions
- 1. Needing Constant Reassurance or Validation
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At the end of it, we all tend to like each other a bit more.
Whether they would ever want anything to do with me in the future is another matter. Again, lets have a think about what might be the actions of a skilful arch manipulator, and what might be someone with really ineffective ways of getting their needs met. A good manipulator gets what they want and people like them. A bad manipulator gets what they want and people resent them. What followed would invariably be a 30 minute phone call where I desperately tried to get him to tell me he would be ok.
Every suggestion of what to do had already been tried. Every option had been explored and found wanting. It said on his careplan to phone when he was suicidal and here he was phoning. Now what was I going to do about it? The answer was always nothing particularly useful. While I was being berated for my incompetence I tended to feel powerless, useless and for someone who came to work to make people better, pretty bad at my job. In my head this guy was sat at home planning different ways that he could torture me.
My team were very helpful in supporting me with my view of him and we would have many conversations that built up a picture of someone whose sole pleasure in life was my misery. The supervision was not an enjoyable experience as rather than help me to manage a trouble maker, the supervisor started pulling apart the foundations of the power crazed manipulator I had built up.
He asked me what the service user was looking for when he called and what in his life might explain the way he interacted the way he did. He got me to see how unhelpful the picture I had of the client was and even worse, how I might be exacerbating and maintaining some of the very things that did my head in. Within DBT Linehan manipulation would be viewed as poor interpersonal effectiveness.
Most of us come from a background that helped us to be effective. We know how to get our needs met while keeping people on our side. We know that when we raise the intensity of our communication by being more assertive or even hostile and rude, we run the risk of damaging the relationship with that person.
We generally know that if we need help someone will do something and that we can say no to requests that are unreasonable. They might have come from a background where your needs were only met if you screamed blue murder.
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
They might have come from a background where people modelled that threats and violence were the only way to get people to do what you want. They might have only been cared for when they were physically hurt or they might never have been taught to put their feelings into words. The gist of this is that we will see peoples past relationships in their present ones if we look for them. If we look hard enough, we can see how people have been taught to interact the way we do.
Splitting in teams certainly happens but I wonder if us staff ignore the part we play. Now I come from a background that taught me I was loved and valued.10 Types of Emotional Manipulation
Despite this I tend to gravitate towards people I perceive as warm, friendly and interested in me. People labelled with personality disorder have the same tendency. When in a frightening place it makes sense for them to particularly attach to staff who show the most warmth or have some characteristic that feels safe.
They need to be hung on to. The relationship can also be strengthened by distancing yourself from people who are more cold, apathetic, hostile or just different.