Currently dating ISFJ for 5 years. Very hard working It also helps me to know that my wife has a shadow ENTP within her. She likes science!. Over the last couple of years, I've received numerous requests for a post about INFJ and INTJ relationships. This pairing is extremely rare. Out of 16 different personality types INFJs make the rarest combination of INFJs love helping people, especially the person they're dating. . I used to be INTJ but seems like recent personality tests have become INFJ!.
INFJs prefer long, lasting relationships and avoid short-term relationships if they can. They sometimes forget to take care of themselves. INFJs have a habit of taking care of everyone else around them before they take care of themselves.
The Pros and Cons of Dating Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type | Observer
INFJs just need a bit of time to recharge and refocus. They always have in the back of their mind your favorite activities, places to go, and preferences when making plans.
Someone who puts a lot of emphasis on labels, designers, or money is immediately off putting. Even if they recognize a relationship is failing they have a hard time detaching themselves from their significant other.
They want to believe in their partner so much, often at the risk of sacrificing their own happiness and comfort. In order to compensate for such misunderstandings, INTJs might reason that if they could only understand people better they could overcome their relational difficulties.
This may inspire them to gather as many facts and self-help strategies as they can regarding human psychology and relationships.
INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
While there is certainly nothing wrong with doing so, it may not always remedy their predicament in the way they might expect. For one, INTJs with a history of relational difficulties can be prone to attribute those failures to psychological problems in their partners, thereby failing to see their own shortcomings.
While not necessarily their fault, this should comprise at least as much of their relational attention as trying to see and diagnose problems in their partners. To be fair, accurate self-evaluation can be a problem for all J-types, since their preferred mode of Judging Fe or Te is directed outwardly rather than inwardly.
This is one reason why typology can be so useful for INTJs, as well as other types. One of the hallmarks of Fi is a desire to preserve and defend the uniqueness of the individual. Related to a strong concern for the individual is the Fi desire to aid the weak, helpless, and marginalized of society. This is why IFPs, for instance, can often be found helping the homeless, working with children with special needs, protecting endangered species, etc.
Once we add Fi into the mix, it is not hard to see how INTJs might be attracted, even if unconsciously, to rescuing and fixing those who seem needy or helpless. The relationship then becomes a sort of psychotherapeutic forum, with the INTJ working to analyze, diagnose, and treat his wounded partner.
It zeroes in on the unique features of the individual and grows deeply attached to those qualities. While INTJs may not experience the consistent strength of feeling that FP types do, they are nonetheless influenced by the less conscious workings of Fi, which helps inspire loyalty, love, and commitment.
16 Things To Know Before Dating An INFJ
This makes it a highly alluring function, powerful enough to inspire a fierce and protracted tug-of-war with the dominant function. What you do with this information is up to you.INFJ vs. ISFJ
Attraction is an incredibly subjective matter. What entices one person bores another. What repulses you might get the next average Joe all hot and bothered.
But hey, you came here to nerd out. Warm, compassionate and affirming. Able to hold a long, meaningful conversation on pretty much any topic with pretty much any person sparing you a lot of insufferable dinner party chit chat. Deep oracle of wisdom, but also acts like a child who views the world as one giant amusement park.
High risk of leaving you to go find their authentic self often located in Argentina, Bali, the Dolomite mountains, etc. Sees you in an incredible, artistic light that will transform the way you see yourself for the better.
Unprecedented balance of deeply insightful and hopelessly goofy. Is sometimes writing the story of your relationship in their head and upset that you are not properly following the script. Cries whenever they see a picture of two animals hugging. Talking to them for five minutes is like taking a drug that makes you see everything differently and experience reality in a fun new way. Said drug cannot be overdosed on.
Very self-sufficient and not needy. Might forget they are a human for days at a time while researching, meditating, gaming, etc. Has eight million solutions to your problem before you even finish explaining it. Maps out an exciting new life course every six months, making it hard for the relationship to grow stagnant. Forgets you exist while in the throes of a new project. Then remembers you exist and is very, very excited about it.
Makes a lot of elaborate plans with you, then changes them without warning. Makes you feel like the most adored person on earth. Transforms life into a giant, non-stop adventure.